Archive for February, 2012

Life and Love

“Maybe it’s not about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it’s about starting over and creating something better.”

Just saw this post on FB; made me think of a situation I am aware of right now.  I see a couple floundering in what was love and now has seemed to switch to dismay and something more akin to a somewhat uncomfortable form of familiarity.  Hearts have been hurt, pain has been inflicted; not necessarily on purpose, but truly there and felt.

Where will this go, how will this end?  Really, should it end? The life of each of waxes and wanes as well as the lives of both collectively, together…yet they hang on. Is the tide in or out, how long does it stay in either position?  Will it hurt, cause feeling to dry up and die?

I see the fear, the anxiety in their eyes, but I also see the uneasiness, the frustration and ambiguity. Will disruption happen again, will pain reoccur?  How do you stop it?  Or should you? Is it important to stop it or should one just let things unfold?  Were these just growing pains, or just part of a personality now put up-front and center to be seen and felt?  Should they try again, to connect or let it go as love lost, and on to the next life lesson?  Or, are these the times when you “decide” to love, no matter what? Is love always a matter of the heart, or do we need to use our more cognitive brain to figure it out? Should they fix it? Should they try to start anew? Should they cut their losses and move on?  Humm… it seems to me that it must always go back to the heart. Is the love strong enough, desired enough to continue on? What are your thoughts?


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Unplanned Babies

I just got off the phone with a friend/work associate. She is furious about “another unplanned pregnancy with her daughter”.  I too have had that experience with my child, many years ago.  I now see the same unfolding with my oldest grandson. OMG… do these people not know of birth control? Can they not afford condoms?  You can get them FREE!! Can they not bridle their enthusiasm for the few the minutes it’s takes to take care of these situations? Damn!!!  Another mouth to feed, being swept away by the financial crisis this creates? The demand for love, attention, food, water, diapers, clothes. Not to mention a minimum of 18-20 years of worry, work and frustration (that really never ends)? This is no place for a kid to be! What-ta-hell are they thinking!?  I get pissed just thinking about it, writing about it, talking to her about it! However, after getting rid of the fear, the anxiety, the human condition called worry, this is what I told her, and myself (again).

I believe, that before we all come here to planet earth we make a plan. The main and only really important part of the plan is that our SOULS GROW.  We come here to experience the Source within us, that is us. To unfold all that needs to be unfolded so we can continue our journey towards God/Source.

Within that plan, we all know each other on the other side of the veil.  We know who we will connect with and why (there are no accidents) and we will walk at least a portion of our journey together. I believe we picked our families (what the hell were some of us thinking lol) and our friends, our real soul mates and all of those that will touch our lives.  We team up with everyone that will play a part in our Souls Growth.  Including our babies. I know deep in my heart that these unplanned babies have chosen to come here, and their parents accepted the challenge.

We, they, have chosen to walk this planet with very specific people, to create our lives together for a very specific journey, the journey of the soul. I know this was no accident. I know this was with love of the soul, love of Source, love of our own God within that wants only to experience the fulfillment of Love. I know, somehow, some way, all will be ok. I know the journey has only just begun… but begun it has. And the spirit will be triumph, the love of our god-self will grow and another god-spirit will be a bit closer to home.

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The bright morning sun falls quietly in my kitchen window as I sit here and contemplate the nature of this day.  I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now.

My Doxie sits enjoying the morning sun also, he looks more peaceful than I right now.  Just resting, being in the now.   New age music plays softly in the background, enjoying my second cup of cappuccino and searching.  Yet I don’t really know what I’m searching for.  Sunday mornings are “different” for me.  In my mind it’s a time of togetherness.  A time to sit with someone you love, drinking your beverage of the morning, talking, laughing, saying “good morning, I love you”.  A quiet yet connecting time, a special time designed for just you and your chosen love.  A time of no rushing, not having to be somewhere, no objectives to meet, no goals to concur. Just a few moments of peace, quiet and love.

Yet here I sit, as I do many Sunday mornings, trying to figure out how to just “be” or how to “do” something to fill this empty void of nothingness. You would think by my age I would be able to be just happy with me.. notta.  So, in the morning glow of sunshine, I sit and try to un-scramble this thing called “my life”.

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Hum, what to say.  This was non-traditional Irish Wake, for a good friends son who passed away a week ago.  I wasn’t sure what to expect, but all in all it was very nice.

I felt a lot like I was at a wedding reception minus the band and dancing.  It was held in a beautiful banquet hall, with linen tablecloths, glass dishes, water decanters on the table and BOOZE :). Free beer and a cash bar.  I didn’t know anyone but the mom and dad so I enjoyed observing the goings on.  A beautiful slide show with light music was continually running in a lope. Food was plentiful as well as a wide array of desserts.

What was really plentiful was love. So much love abounded in that banquet room; it was beautiful to see; family and friends all joyful about each of their own individual experiences in Jeff’s life. There was a lot of variety with the people too.  Bikers, business associates, some looking very flamboyant, some dressed down, some dressed up, some with many piercing, some barely wearing jewelry.  But all had a special kind of love for Jeff, and it was beautiful to see and hear.

I love that fact that funerals are becoming more like weddings in the way they are planned. People are doing more and more of what they want; rather that what society has dictated. What a refreshing story of living! I love the fact this was a celebration of his life, rather than a mourning of his passing!

When It’s my turn… take my ashes to the best band’s dance floor, sprinkle and DANCE DANCE DANCE!! (Hope they can get away with that 🙂 )

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Today as the winter winds move quickly here in Eastern Michigan I’m trying to find the “slow down” part of me.  I think it’s lost or never existed.  Trying… is the key word. I usually run in high-speed, doing, being, talking, walking fast, and looking for the next thing to occupy me.  It’s hard for me to slow down. Even though I know I should.

I know I should meditate, be still, be calm, and take a breath.  But jezz-o-petes I think that is a talent or a personality trait.  People tell me it’s a practice… but hell, I never want to slow down enough to take the time to practice… funny how we are huh?

Some say we don’t “slow down” because we fear what we might see or feel. I don’t think that’s true, at least not for me. I am pretty open and aware of who and what I am.  I’ve spent a lifetime figuring it out and holding those ugly or uncomfortable parts of me close to my heart.  I see those things like rungs of a ladder lifting me (blessing me) up to where I am today, although I’m not done yet. Maybe I’ll just think about slowing down… maybe that’s enough for me J. Meanwhile, I’ll continue to run the race, reach for the stars and just be me.

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Here we go…..

I hope for this to be an exciting adventure for all of us.  My spelling isn’t the best, my grammar is worse, but this is me.  My sacred intention is;  “That we love one another through the ups and downs. That we enjoy this path for all it’s worth. That peace abounds with each step we take and that in the end we know more and more about who we are and why we’re here”.  Namaste

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Why am I here?

I wish for this to be a sacred blessing to all whom read it.  I want others that are scared, discouraged or feel like they are failing in their spiritual journey to feel OK. To know that we are all just a human beings, walking this earthly experience doing the best we can. Working our way through life with all of our ups and downs as well as the good the bad and the ugly.  I want to share with others that we “all” go through mountains and valleys even if we don’t talk about it. That re-doing our old ways of thinking is hard. It’s an everyday battle to walk consciously in the way we think and feel.  But in the end, it’s “right” to be whoever we are. To know in the end we are all the same, with all of the traits that come with being human. The spiritual journey is sometimes so easy, and others so frustrating. But as long as we keep walking… we are good. I want to give the voices in my head, my heart and my soul a voice. I need a listening ear. I enjoy the sense of community and like-mindedness. Maybe this will help all of us unravel the cobwebs in all of our heads.

I will share with you my inner spirit of love, compassion and joy. I will also share with you my fears, my frustrations and my emptiness.  I will do my best to hold your hand so you know that you are not alone on your path… I there with you also. I will cuss, swear and bless as I describe my inner spirit. I will cry with you, laugh with you and think with you. I will be as real as I can be.  I will, in the end do my best to show you that there is love for all of us no matter what. That our life truly is a magical journey. 

 I hope you will be able to resonate with my words, my thoughts and my spirit.  I send out the prayer (to set a sacred intention) that this blog blesses you and me as I enter this new endeavor.  Love and joy to you all! Namaste.












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